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Ye Olde Grate Booke of Iernbutt
6 most recent entries

Date:2006-10-10 04:41
Subject:Yay, bonfires!
Security:Public

Saturday was fun, but we really should have brought more burny things.

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Date:2006-10-03 23:22
Subject:
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A lot of people feel the need to journal when they have something to bitch about, and I prefer to spread a more positive feeling among my faithful readers....even if it's only so they're jealous of my awesome life.

I'm the kind of dad who shows up at his daughter's school in full gothic plate armour just to make her the coolest kid in school.

I'm the kind of friend who sticks up for you when people talk behind your back, even if what they're saying is the truth. I'll also tell you when you're full of shit and not hold it against you.

I'm the kind of love who walks through a blizzard to bring flowers, just for the adventure of it.

I'm not too cool to listen to the radio or watch TeeVee, but I'm *waaaay* too cool for NASCAR. What the hell.

Right now I'm just relaxing with a nice glass of wine in a sparkling afterglow and in a rare gesture of sympathy for the rest of the human race, musing thoughtfully.... "Thank the gods I'm me!"

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Date:2006-08-05 23:04
Subject:Prepare to be Offended
Security:Public
Mood: cynical

So here I am, innocently reading the news and I come across *yet another* article about some special-interest group sobbing frantically about something "offensive". The article is about the Buffalo Silverbacks, a basketball team out of New York. The team's manager, players, and assorted staff all unanimously voted for the new name (the team was sold and had to change the name as the old owner retained the rights), and nobody considered it even remotely offensive to anyone until a member of the Buffalo school board saw a piece on them in the local paper.


Okay, why the hell is America so sensitive anymore? Why is everyone just aching for something to cry about? Why must people seek out things to interpret as "offensive"? Trust me, if someone's trying to offend you, they'll generally be pretty up front about it! I certainly am.


Yes, America used to have slaves, just like every other nation in the world. Everyone acknowledges this. What we do *not* acknowledge is that America has been home to slaves of all colors, from all continents, not just Africa. What we *also* do not acknowledge is that not every black person IN America is descended from slaves. Hell, to hear some people talk, you'd think they were ALL slaves PERSONALLY. To date, I have never heard an Irishman complain about the treatment his ancestors received in America.


Yesterday's bit of jocularity came courtesy of a woman who is no longer permitted to the vanity plate she uses on her business vehicle (Northwoods Tree Farm -- the plate reads "NWTF") because the series of letters thereupon has *suddenly* become offensive to someone.


Ironically, the "offensive" phrase is "NOW What The Fuck?!"


As a hack writer myself, I'm often awestruck at the incredible power of words. Using exactly the write turn of phrase can flip an entire conversation on its ear and put the speaker in complete control of his audience. A careful author can choose his words like herbs and compose either a miraculous medicine, powerful drug, or deadly poison for his readers. Even so, the effect is one we *choose* to feel as readers or listeners.


When we hear someone say the words "nigger" or "spick" or "chink", we are offended as a conditioned response. We have been *taught* that these are unacceptable words. That's fair -- there's more than enough hate going around as it is; I don't need it in my ear. However, why are we not offended when we hear the words "honky" or "cracker" or "peckerwood"? Is it because whites aren't a protected class of citizens? I clearly remember hearing the first two of those terms on prime time TeeVee in my teens, and I remember a black speaker at the Million Man March calling out for Americans to boycott "the Honky Man" this xmas, neither buying from or selling to, an entire race of American citizens. Nobody said a word about it.


So why are we sensitive about certain groups and not about others? Why are we sensitive about it at all?


I laughed heartily at the feeble cries of the "Attack on Christmas" last winter, when xians from coast to coast were making such a huge fuss about people daring to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas", even though people have *always* said that. The winter solstice period has many more holidays than just xmas, yet to acknowledge that draws fire from insecure xians about their religion. Any attempt to acknowledge their lack of spiritual monopoly is seen as hostility and immediately counterattacked. Why are xians so insecure?


I was briefly heartened by the American response to the attack on the World Trade Center, when people of all races came together to support America. That is, until I realized that this wonderous union of all races was composed of all races except those from the Middle East.


And what the hell does anyone care what Danish cartoonists draw?


I used to think that all the various factions that hate America were being overly sensitive, and whining about things that don't apply to them and aren't any of their damn business. Now I see that America is largely the same way.


What happened to all the strong people in the world? What happened to self-reliance, responsibility and personal integrity? What happened to minding your own, getting down to, and taking CARE of business?


And when the hell did the world fill up with such pussies?

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Date:2006-07-26 00:04
Subject:New Moon!
Security:Public
Mood: creative

Yay, new moon!

Pounding out a whole new batch of spellwork, too. It's been entirely too long since I indulged myself in a vulgar display of power.

For those of you who know what the hell I'm talking about, I'm going to be doing Magical Margarita Nights again, with round table bullshitting, practice/play nights, and pagan movie nights. I'm not entirely sure when the first one's going to be, but it'll probably be this Friday if I can swing it, middle of next week if it must.

[booya]

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Date:2006-07-10 21:27
Subject:"Rhonda"
Security:Public
Mood: aggravated

I'm in a really really foul mood today.

Okay, so yesterday I got home from beachcombing and found that this girl I know left a message on my machine. So I called her and she said she's hanging out with her friend (say, "Rhonda" or something) and did I want to come over and hang out with them? Now, I barely know this girl except from helping her move and being around her a few times since then, and I don't know "Rhonda" at all.

So I figured what the hell, and went over. We made the obligatory introductions and small talk, and "Rhonda" proceeded to make "casual" (i.e. rehearsed for hours) comments to my friend about "Oh, thank you for letting me break your No Girl Sex rule!!!" and similar comments designed to display the fact that my friend (whom I barely know) is now "Rhonda's" sexual property. Whatever. Maybe it was a Coming Out thing, but who cares? I consider the preference between men and women on the same par as a preference between blondes and redheads -- we like what we like, right? Who cares?

Anyway, we watched Aeon Flux (which was God Awful except for the Tasty and Delightful Charlize Theron) and there was the obligatory sex scene, during which "Rhonda" repeatedly said "EWWWW! STRAIGHT SEX!!!" and made gagging noises and choking sounds. Whatever.

Now, bigotry comes in all shapes and sizes and if someone thinks a social minority can't be bigoted, they're thinking way wrong. As anyone who knows me knows, I personally don't give a rat's ass what others do with their Naughty Bits, as long as my business is none of yours. The real kicker was when the movie was over and I went to get my boots, this chubby snotty little bitch smirks at me out the side of her head and says "Nice knowing you."

Here's the thing. When I lived in the Bay Area I had tons of lesbian friends. Couldn't get enough of them. You take three or four straight guys and a half dozen butch-ass lesbians, throw in a couple bottles of tequila and a few pool tables (and an unsuspecting public) and you've got a month's worth of entertainment all in one evening. None of us had issues about anyone's sexuality. We all got to have fun playing and girl-watching, and there was *zero* sexual tension in the group. It was great.

So what the hell is the point of enhancing one's social minority status by making a huge deal out of hating everyone not like oneself? What's the display for? Staking her claim on someone I barely know? Making sure I knew she considered "my kind" disgusting? Whatever.

Completely unlike myself, I refrained from comment at the time but I've been stewing on this all day. So there it is.

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Date:2003-05-07 17:43
Subject:Update for inventory and wish list
Security:Public

Lud has:

Wishbones, small and large
Mistletoe knots
Iron filings, fine and coarse
Powdered yew
Yew slices, one side smooth
Moss from the Glastonbury Tor
Various precious and semiprecious stones, some lab
Railroad spikes


Lud wants:

Intact snakeskulls (with fangs)
Complete Copperhead skeleton
Fulgarites of any size
Genuine sheepskin parchment
Bearskin, claws, bones, etc.
Eagle feathers, talons, etc.
Blasted hardwood (blown off tree by lightning, with date and time of stroke)
Silver in any form (silverware, etc)

Uncle Ironbutt

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